Bridewealth
Introduction
African customs create a rich culture. A wide variety of cultural forms testifies to that richness. Those forms are expressed at various points in the life and an individual and the community as a whole. They are especially visible during the rites of passage.
One of the crucial rites of passage is marriage. Marriage expresses one’s commitment to follow commonly accepted norms of the society of which one is a member. Marital commitment articulates one’s conviction about the importance of family life and of procreation. Being married and to have children affects not only one’s earthly destiny. It also has ‘eternal’ consequences based on African beliefs in afterlife.
Among various elements involved in the rite of marriage bridewealth plays an important role. The researcher wants to explore more about the practice of bridewealth.
Justification
The researcher is interested in acquiring knowledge about bridewealth among Luo urban dwellers of Nairobi. He reckons that marriage is of great importance in Africa and that bridewealth seems to be an essential element of marriage (Mbiti, 1975, p. 107). He is also aware of the changes taking place in the modern African society (Waruta, 2005, p. 101; O’Donovan, 2000, p. 77). He wants to find out whether the traditional understanding of bridewealth has been affected as a result of those changes.
Purpose
The researcher wants to focus on the role that bridewealth plays among selected members of Luo community, who are married or cohabiting together in the area of Nairobi. His interest lies in investigating whether the contemporary understanding of bridewealth, with its various dimensions, among the Luo urban dwellers of Nairobi remains the same in comparison with its traditional meaning as found in literature.
The main objectives of the study to which the researcher wants to find answers are as follow
1) What is bridewealth;
2) Who is involved in bridewealth;
3) Are there any changes in the contemporary society that would affect the practice of bridewealth;
4) What are the advantages of the practice of bridewealth;
5) What are the disadvantages of the practice;
6) Will the practice continue in the future.
Methodology
The choice of methodology was dictated by the purpose of the research. The researcher believed that choosing qualitative approach would give him more flexibility in collecting, analyzing and presenting data. Such an approach allowed the researcher to ask questions answers to which were not necessarily easy to quantify. It gave him more freedom in asking open-ended questions which provided the respondents with the possibility of replying to them in their own words (Barker, 2002, pp. 74-75). Due to the number of respondents and the research topic, the quantitative method did not seem to be appropriate because it would not provide enough of data to be presented in a relevant way.
Methods of collecting data
Keeping in mind the type of data the researcher was interested in collecting, the researcher believed that semi-structured interviews would be the best choice. There were some group interviews, though most were individual ones. Those interviews consisted of ‘a written list of questions and topics that need to be covered in a particular order’ (Russell, 1994, p. 209). During those interviews, an interview guide, especially prepared by the researcher, was used. The interview guide was corrected and updated on several occasions due to feedback from the field assistant and the respondents. Interviews were conducted in English and Swahili.
Methods of interpreting data
Keeping in mind the small scope of this project, the researcher decided to use some elements of descriptive statistics in order to provide simple summaries of the findings.
The researcher used content analysis to interpret data. His task consisted of coming up with a set of categories, and then to analyze his text again in order to find out how many instances fall into that category (Dominik, 2007, p.53).
The respondents
The researcher interviewed 13 people from the Luo community. All of them were adults between 27-54 years old. Among them there were 8 women and 5 men.
Ethical issues
All respondents were contacted beforehand and were provided either with a verbal explanation about area of the research or were given an interview guide. All of them explicitly agreed to participate in the research and allowed the researcher to use the data provided by them in the writing the course paper. The permission to take notes was always asked by the researcher and always given. Other ethical aspects such as safeguarding respondents’ rights, interests and sensitivities, protecting their privacy and anonymity taken into account during the research process (Spradley, 1980, pp. 20-25; Coolican, 1997, pp. 395-397).
Limitations of the research
The main limitation, according to the researcher, was the limited number of the respondents interviewed. Generalizations based on such a number may not reflect the beliefs of the Luo community as such. This research could be a starting point for a further research that would be larger in its scope.
Another limitation was seen in the fact that members of the Luo community living in Nairobi for a number of years, due to various factors, seemed to have less knowledge about their traditions. At the same time, such a realization was the confirmation of the relevance of the research topic. The difference between understanding of bridewealth among rural dwellers and Nairobi dwellers from the Luo community could serve as a research topic in the future.
Field Research findings
What is bridewealth
Bridewealth was an integral part of marriage procedures. A Luo man said that “to marry it has to be paid. If there is no bridewealth, they (the couple) can run away, stay together, have children but it is not recognized as a marriage. It brings shame” (cf. App.#, no. 4). One lady said that “traditionally, every adult man/woman was expected to marry/get married. Unless one married upon attaining the right age, one stood no chance of being counted as an adult. Marriage would be recognized as such only after the bridewealth has been given” (cf. App.#, no. 13).
One Luo respondent defined bridewealth (“nyombo”) as a “payment that is given in exchange for the girl” (cf. App.#, no. 2). Some of the respondents stressed that it was “like a gift, though an obligatory one, which is given to the parents (“yuora”) of the girl”. It was a way of showing respect and appreciation to them for the work and expenses of bringing up their daughter (cf. App.#, no. 3, 4).
Traditionally bridewealth was given in animals, especially cows and goats. One person enumerated other things that could be used traditionally to pay bridewealth. She said that bridewealth “included animal part and other gifts such as ‘kitenge’ (traditional cloth), honey, beer, baskets and mats” (cf. App.#, no. 8). It could also be contributed through the labor. Animals were usually used for various reasons, e.g. they served as a reminder of the marriage having been contracted and the fact that by multiplying, the wealth of the family would increase. These days money is the most common way of paying bridewealth. Even if the amount of bridewealth is given in terms of cows, it can be converted into money. However, most respondents stressed that some animals would have to be given as well, at least one cow.
The amount of bridewealth depended upon a number of factors such as: the general economic situation of the country, financial ability of the groom and his family, beauty, character and education of the bride.
Bridewealth could be paid in installments. According to some respondents the minimal amount to be paid in the first installment that would give the groom the right to live with the bride was one cow and one goat (cf. App.#, no. 2, 4). Another claimed it was 3 cows and 4-5 goats (cf. App.#, no. 3).
Culturally, the groom was always ‘bound’ by bridewealth – it was an ongoing process that meant, using the words of one respondent, “everlasting indebtedness” (cf. App.#, no. 8). In practice there was no upper limit of bridewealth because the groom was expected to contribute to various family occasions and to give something to the parents each time he visited them. One person described it as follows: “It is never finished. Whenever the husband went to visit the father of the wife, he was expected to bring something, usually cash, for the family” (cf. App.#, no. 9). Another respondent said that it was “ongoing, you keep contributing. There is no upper limit, it depends upon your generosity” (cf. App.#, no. 4).
Who is involved in bridewealth
All respondents mentioned that bridewealth played an important role in the society. Bridewealth was a crucial element in marriage negotiations. That close relationship was mentioned by one person who said that the word “nyombo” is used for both bridewealth and marriage (cf. App.#, no. 9). Another word used for marriage is “kend”.
First of all, bridewealth was an expression of the willingness of the boy to marry a girl. The interest of the boy in marrying a girl would be the first step in the process of paying bridewealth. He would be the one involved at all stages of the process. If he could afford, he would be the main contributor to pay bridewealth.
The girl would also be involved in bridewealth. She would be the reason of bridewealth – the parents, family and the community would be losing a productive member of the community and bridewealth would be a compensation for it. The bride’s qualities and education would be important in negotiating the amount of bridewealth.
Bridewealth involved the parents of the girl. It was “a way of showing respect towards the parents of the girl because an individual was paying for the expenses the parents had concerning their daughter” (cf. App.#, no. 4). One lady described it as follows: “the groom has to pay it because of my hardships involved in bringing my daughter up. Even my daughter would not accept to be married without bridewealth being paid”. Another respondent said that “it was a token of thanksgiving. If you didn’t pay it you are cheating the parents. It was a way of saying thank you and not a way of buying the girl” (cf. App.#, no. 10).
The parents of the girl were the ones to agree on the amount of bridewealth to be paid. Such an agreement depended upon their attachment to the traditions and their understanding of the role of bridewealth. That understanding could be a reason to quote a relatively small amount to be contributed. However, if they saw it in terms of acquiring wealth, a high amount, difficult to pay, could be quoted by them (cf. App.#, no. 6).
One person said that “ni lazima kupeleka mahari kwenye nyumba ya wazazi, hapo wanapoishi” (It is necessary to send bridewealth to the place where the parents live) (cf. App.#, no. 3). In case of people living in Nairobi, one person claimed that it should be sent to the place they came from. The acceptance of bridewealth by the parents meant that they were giving their permission to marry and that they were blessing them.
The mother of the bride was the one to receive “ayie” (consent money). It was given to her because she would be the one being most affected by her daughter being taken away from her.
The father of the bride was the one who received bridewealth. He could use it for a variety of purposes. Usually it would be used for school fees, to pay bridewealth for his other sons, to pay his debts and to distribute it among other family members, especially the ones who were poor. The father would keep some animals as a sign of the marriage having been contracted (cf. App.#, no. 8).
In general, for the parents of the girl, payment of bridewealth was a sign of respect on the side of the groom and his family. One respondent said that: “it was a wealth for the family - they get animals, they get milk and respect in the village” (cf. App.#, no. 5)
Other members of the bride’s family would also be involved in bridewealth. Usually, when the mother received “ayie”, the close relatives would also receive some money in “bahasha” (envelopes). Elders, uncles and friends of the bride would be the ones negotiating the amount of bridewealth. The spokesperson of the family would receive bridewealth from the family of the groom and give it to the father of the bride (cf. App.#, no. 2, 8).
The parents of the groom would also actively participate in the process of bridewealth. They would be the first ones to whom the son would communicate his desire to marry. They would go to visit the family of the groom and would participate in choosing those who would be sent to the bride’s family to negotiate.
Two respondents mentioned that “the father of the groom was supposed to provide at least one cow for bridewealth of his son. If he did not have it, the father would give him a rope symbolizing that he is giving him a cow” (cf. App.#, no. 10, 11). That rope would be then returned to him when bridewealth was paid.
Chosen members of both families would be involved in bridewealth negotiations. On the part of the groom (“or”) the following could participate in it: elders from the family, the father, uncles and friends. On the side of the bride (“dhako”) the elders, the father and elder brothers could participate in it. The process of paying and receiving bridewealth was a source of respect for both families in their respective communities. It meant that they followed local traditions.
Bridewealth brought involved families together and created friendships between them. Since the families would usually belong to different clans and communities, bridewealth contributed to forming relationships between them.
On the community level, which by implication would involve both families, the parents of the bride and the groom, and the couple, bridewealth legalized the marriage. The respondents described it as a “traditional certificate”, “proof of validity” and a “signature of marriage”. It legalized the status of the wife, as well as of children and their rights.
What are the advantages of the practice of bridewealth
Many advantages enumerated by the respondents have already been referred to. It has been pointed out that bridewealth was a practical expression of the gratitude of the groom and his family for having brought the bride up. It was a seal of marriage that gave the young the permission to stay together, provided legitimacy to their union, confirmed their status as a husband and wife and provided legitimacy to their children. It strengthened connections between the families and clans involved. It was a ‘quid pro quo’ exchange: the family of the groom was giving animals and money and receiving a new member of the community and the family of the bride was losing a member of their family but they were being compensated in terms of livestock and money.
Another advantage of bridewealth was that it gave the couple mutual rights, e.g. if bridewealth was completed or some agreed upon amount of it was paid, in case of the death of the wife, the husband could bury her and the children would stay with him. If it was not the case, the husband would have to pay bridewealth first or otherwise the wife could be buried in the homestead of her parents and children would be claimed by her family (cf. App.#, no. 4). One respondent said that “If bridewealth is not paid, you cannot bury your wife. If you do it it is a curse. And if you marry another, your wife will die, even if you pay bridewealth for her” (cf. App.#, no. 5).
What are the disadvantages of the practice of bridewealth
Some disadvantages have also been mentioned already. Girls could be considered as a means of acquiring wealth. One responded said that “the more girls you have, the more wealth you will have in terms of cattle and goats” (cf. App.#, no. 14). By asking the large amount of money or a large number of animals, the parents were focusing on becoming rich rather than in anything else. Hence, It could be perceived that the value of the bride was related to the amount asked. It contributed to the spread of promiscuity and HIV/AIDS. Some young people could not marry, either traditionally or in the Church, because they would not be able to raise it. Some would elope.
Most of the respondents lived in unions, some for even for a long time, that would not be traditionally recognized as marriages. Inability to pay bridewealth was the main reason of such a situation. One respondent said: “We are not married traditionally because bridewealth was no delivered” (cf. App.#, no. 13).
Bride could be considered as a commodity that has been bought and hence could be treated as an object (cf. App.#, no. 2).
If it was not paid, the father of the bride could curse the couple. A curse could also result from breaking certain taboos around bridewealth, like somebody eating the chicken prepared for the groom (cf. App.#, no. 3).
Bridewealth could contribute to some psychological problems. The groom who was not able to pay would live in shame and could not visit the family of the bride.
Traditionally, the eldest son and the eldest daughter were to marry/be married first. If the groom was not able to pay bridewealth, the other siblings had difficulty in marrying, even if they could pay it.
Returning bridewealth meant dissolution of marriage. If bridewealth was returned, the marriage union was annulled, especially when the lady was found to be barren.
It could happen that the wife and the children would have to stay in an abuse situation because the family of the wife would not be able to return the bridewealth in case she wanted to leave the husband (cf. App.#, no. 10).
Are there any changes in the contemporary society that would affect the practice of bridewealth
The respondents pointed out that the practice of bridewealth was undergoing some changes. It was due to several factors.
One of them was related to the increasing role of money as the favorite means of paying bridewealth. Even though most of them claimed that some amount of it was supposed to be paid in animals, payment in cash was widely spread.
Some referred to the poor economic situation affecting the practice. In the traditional society, people would live in villages and would usually have livestock to use to pay bridewealth. In the contemporary society, many urban residents live in poor conditions and it is very difficult for them to raise bridewealth. Some respondents could not complete bridewealth because they were not able to save due to hard economic conditions facing many Kenyans.
Education has also affected the practice of bridewealth. Educated parents might not be interested in receiving bridewealth. At the same time, some parents, after having educated their daughter, may increase the amount of bridewealth. One respondent said that “a lot can be asked. As a result, the groom may have to get a loan and the new family would start their life with a significant amount of debts” (cf. App.#, no. 8).
Some pointed out to the fact that Christianity is a factor influencing the practice. It can be a help or actually an obstacle. Some Christian parents said that they would allow their daughter to marry a man even though he might not be able to pay bridewealth at that moment. It was motivated by the Christian beliefs – if they did not allow, the girl and the boy could have sex outside marriage.
Christianity has also had some negative influences because some Churches require a confirmation that bridewealth was paid. Otherwise they would not allow the wedding to be celebrated. On the other hand, one person added that “some denominations try to do away with bridewealth believing that bridewealth was causing drift in families”.
Westernization and individualization of the society have also challenged the practice. They have contributed to what one person described as “some lack of care about others” (cf. App.#, no. 11).
Inability to pay bridewealth among some young people was a main factor to elope and to live together in unions that were not traditionally recognized as marriages.
Bridewealth was traditionally seen as a sign of one’s commitment. These days some young people choose not to pay it and yet they want to live together. Such an approach is seen as a way of avoiding commitment and contributes to the phenomenon of ‘come-and-stay’. It is also influenced by inability of some young people to pay it. Such a situation contributes to the spread of promiscuity and HIV/AIDS (cf. App.#, no. 8).
One person summarized it in the following way: “Education, Christianity, urbanization and westernization diminish the role of bridewealth, though it is still important – the culture is still an underlying idea in one’s head” (cf. App.#, no. 8).
Will the practice continue in the future
All the respondents claimed that the practice of bridewealth is ongoing in towns and villages. They believed that the practice would continue because it served to “perpetuate culture and tradition”, because it was “kitu cha maana” (meaningful thing) and because it was a “desturi – hatuwezi kuiacha (it is a custom and we cannot leave it). Also bridewealth was seen as a necessary condition of marriage without which one would be cursed (cf. App.#, no. 4).
The respondents attested that if it was in their power to retain or to remove the practice of bridewealth, they would retain it. One respondent said that “something has to be given. To remove it would be a sign of irresponsibility – ability to raise bridewealth was a practical expression of the groom’s ability to provide for his family” (cf. App.#, no. 2). Another added that: “Luo don’t want to forfeit their culture. They believe that if they forfeit it, an evil thing will happen” (cf. App.#, no. 9). At the same time when asked whether the process of paying bridewealth was a help or an obstacle in preparing for marriage, all respondents except one said that in that it was an obstacle.
Some respondents were referred to above mentioned changes taking place in the modern society as reasons for the tradition being challenged. One person said that: “Customs are important, but they are also changing” (cf. App.#, no. 10). In general, the respondents believed that the practice will continue because it was a custom - “It is a custom, so it will be followed. It cannot disappear because it is a custom” (cf. App.#, no. 11).
Literature review and class notes review
What is bridewealth
Marriage was an important rite of passage in Africa (Waruta, 2005, p. 103, Bikorwomuhangi, 2005, p. 1). It was “the most responsible phase in life” (Mbiti, 1975, p. 104). Among the Luo, it was “an essential obligation that legitimizes an adult into the community” (Bikorwomuhangi, 2005, p. 10). Marriage was believed to be ordered by God and was considered as a sacred duty, a religious obligation, which every member of the community was supposed to fulfill (Mbiti, 1975, pp. 104-106). Marriage ensured that the kinship structure of a community was perpetuated, and that the involved communities were brought and bound together. It was never a solitary affair – all the community participated in it including the dead (Magesa, 1997, pp. 110-115, Sakubu, 2003, p. 3).
Prof Achola stressed that marriage was a means of achieving companionship, to get wealth, to have children, to be immortalized as ancestors and to fulfill God’s will.
Bridewealth was an integral part of marriage process (Mbiti, 1975, p. 107, Magesa, 1997, p. 122, Warura, 2005, p. 102). Mbiti defined it as “a token of gratitude on the part of the bridegroom’s people to those of the bride, for their care over her and for allowing her to become his wife. At home the gift ‘replaces’ her reminding the family that she will leave or has left and yet she is not dead… The gift legalizes her value and the marriage contract. The institution of this practice is the most concrete symbol of the marriage covenant and security” (1969 p. 140). Elsewhere, Mbiti talked about bridewealth in terms of exchanging gifts which are asked by the parents of the girl from those of the boy (1975, p. 107). This point was also stressed by Waruta (2005, p. 107). Shorter referred to bridewealth in terms of indemnity and compensation to the bride’s family for bringing her up and losing a productive and reproductive member of the family (1998, p. 90).
Mbiti (1969, p. 140, 1975, p. 108), Magesa (1997, p. 122) and Waruta (2005, p. 107), emphasized that bridewealth should not be seen in terms of ‘payment’ for the girl – it was rather a way of fostering her dignity by showing her how important she was for the groom. At the same time Mbiti (1975, p. 108) and Bikorwomuhangi (2005, p. 4) noticed that for some parents it was a way of getting money. Shorter (1998, p. 90) summed it up saying that: “Bridewealth is not a bride-price. Women are not bought and sold, though bridewealth may come close to this as a result of the introduction of money, and the bridegroom being assessed according to his capacity to pay”. Prof Achola mentioned that bridewealth should not be seen as a price tag that was put on the girl.
Ominde said that the payment of bridewealth among the Luo took place when the boy who wanted to marry has officially presented himself to her parents and obtained their consent (1952, p. 47). Prof Achola mentioned that once the parents of the boy went to visit the parents of the girl, there was a process of negotiation. Some consent fee is paid. It is usually paid in form of money, most of which goes to the mother of the bride. Acceptance of money is a sign of accepting the offer of the family of the boy. Once it is given and accepted, the girl is officially betrothed.
Bridewealth was usually paid in form of livestock, especially the cattle, foodstuff and money (Taylor, 1963, p. 72). The process of negotiating and paying bridewealth had a lot of impact on the community. It was an outward expression of the seriousness of both families involved in marriage and a symbol of marriage bond. Prof Achola mentioned other forms of paying bridewealth: grain, potatoes, labour, bunches of bananas, bundles of firewood, gourds of milk, planting implements, watertanks, and electrical implements.
Prof Achola provided the class with three main reasons of the use of livestock in payment of bridewealth. First of all, it was a means of exchange – animals were given to bride’s family and a bride and ‘not yet born children’ were given to groom’s family. Livestock was also a way of increasing personal wealth – it would usually multiply. Secondly, animals were used in a number of rituals and celebrations. Thirdly, animals served as evidence that bridewealth was paid.
Bridewealth did not have to be paid in full. However, a failure to pay at least some significant and agreed upon part of it meant that no matter how long the couple stayed together, their union was not recognized as a marriage (Kam, 2004, p. 7). The payment of bridewealth was considered in terms of an ongoing process, strengthening the relationships between the families and communities involved (Kam, 2004, p. 4, Puthenpurakal, 2005, p. 14). Koyango-Male claimed that “in general, payment of bridewealth was never completed, and this to some extent rejuvenated the marriage…” (1984, p. 56). Prof Achola stressed that bridewealth was not usually paid in full because the family of the girl could go to ask for assistance to the family of the boy. Another reason was that it gave some control to the wife –it could be a means of exercising some control, including threats, over the husband.
Who is involved in bridewealth
Many people were involved in the process of bridewealth. It was never a solitary affair. Shorter stressed it saying that: “Many individuals of the bridegroom’s family contribute to it and many individuals of the bride’s family benefit from it” (1998, p. 90).The members of the family and the community would participate at various stages.
The practice of bridewealth was a means of ensuring the survival of the kinship, establishing very strong bonds between individuals and families coming from different clans, recognizing and legitimizing the marriage and ensuring a legal status of children born in that union and their right to inheritance (Kam, 2004, p. 4, Sakubu, 2003, p. 7). Bridewealth ensured that the community rules were followed and hence the life force was enhanced and the ancestors were content. Distribution of bridewealth among various members of the family of the bride pointed to its communitarian dimension. It stabilized marriage by involving many people in collecting it and receiving it.
What are the advantages of the practice of bridewealth
Payment of bridewealth gave the young couple an official permission to live together and have children (Mbiti, 1975, p. 108). It was a “seal of relationship” (Waruta, 2005, 107). Once bridewealth was paid, the marriage was sealed (Busieka, 2004, p. 4). Abwanda confirmed that point stressing that “according to Luo customary law, bridewealth is what really seals a marriage contract and without it there is no marriage in the Luo custom (2004, p. 9).
The payment of bridewealth also discouraged divorce because bridewealth was to be returned to the husband (Magesa, 1997, pp. 122-127, Sakubu, 2003, p. 12).
Prof Achola stressed that bridewealth protected both man and woman in marriage – one could not simply be ditched by the other. It provided the wife with the right to own the property in her new community, and it gave a right to be buried in the land of her husband or her husband’s clan. It helped both of know who their ‘significant others’ in both families were.
Shorter summarized it by saying that bridewealth was “a legal document signifying that the marriage has taken place and that the husband has conjugal rights. It legitimizes the children of the union and confers legal rights over them upon the father. Bridewealth stabilizes the marriage…” (1998, p. 90).
What are the disadvantages of the practice
Bikorwomuhangi (2005, p. 4) claimed that “bridewealth became commercialized and it is like it has degenerated into commodity exchange”. Kithinji asserted that “In Kenya today, dowry has almost been completely commercialized. The more educated a lady is the more expensive she is supposed to be at marriage” (2005, p. 54). Kisembo supported that view by saying that “when bridewealth is demanded in cash, it becomes more difficult to collect” (1998, p. 210).
Ngubane (1987) talked about disadvantages of ‘monetisation’ of bridewealth such as the transaction becoming privatized, individualized, and commercialized. And because the actual money ‘price’ was named, there was less involvement of the community and it actually diminished the role of a woman in the consequent marriage.
Prof Achola talked about the fact that some people commercialized the custom and were very inflexible in negotiations about its payment. However, he also mentioned that “It is not the amount of money that really matters but rather problems arise if the parents do not want to negotiate that amount”. According to him some feminists saw bridewealth as a way of enslaving women.
O’Donovan (2005, pp. 79-85) claimed that delaying marriages due to various economic factors, including high amount of bridewealth, contributed to premarital sex, spread of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Among Southern Luo there was a type of marriage called ‘Por’. It was understood in terms of elopement whereby the young believed they could provide bridewealth but poverty or some other circumstances prevented them temporarily from doing so. Elopement, however, would remain a stigma for the girl for the rest of her life (Ocholla-Ayayo, 1976, pp. 138-139; Othieno-Ochieng, 1968, p. 17).
Sometimes, marriages of the sons could be delayed because they had to wait for bridewealth for their sister to be given so that they could get necessary means to pay it (Koyango-Male, 1984, p. 17).
Blum pointed out to the fact that some Churches insisted and even made the payment of bridewealth a necessary condition to contract marriage in the Church (1989, p. 149). He claimed that bridewealth practice was one of the factors that gave rise to “informal marriages” that were a “result of the inability or the unwillingness of the poorer classes of society to conform to the norms of marriage” (p. 150). Among the advantages of such a type of marriage he talked about more freedom given to women to choose their partner, without paying attention to bridewealth. It also gave her more freedom to leave such a union. She was free to enter into a relationship without the consent of the parents as well as opt out of it without any interference from her family. The man in such a union did not have to make so much effort to collect bridewealth. The money that would have to be used for bridewealth could assist the couple in purchasing things for themselves (pp. 152-156).
Cohabitation and elopement would be means used to bypass the obligation of bridewealth (Bikorwomuhangi, 2005, p. 4). Kithinji says that “The dowry issue is causing a lot of problems to young people. As a result, some engagements are broken, some couples elope and others live together, until they can afford dowry and a wedding while others register their marriages secretly” (2005, p. 54).
Are there any changes in the contemporary society that would affect the practice of bridewealth
Some authors noticed that there are changes taking place in the contemporary African society. Kisembo claimed that “Modern Africa is witnessing a violent and far reaching process of social change’ (1998, p. 208). O’Donovan (2000, pp. 40-41) talked about urbanization, with its various dimensions, as one of the major reasons of sociological changes that occurred. Young people living in towns, often were not aware of the cultural values and practices of their communities. Waruta enumerated other reasons such as: introduction of monetary economies, the use of western education system, and a shift from kinship systems of relations to a more individualistic one (2005, p. 101). In many cases those changes affected adversely traditional African values, including marriage, because the traditional structures were weakened and did not longer have the strength as they did in the past (Kisembo, 1998, p. 209). Waruta (2005, p. 101) said that “if the ancestors are angry, one of the most important and basic institution in African society concerning which they have cause to be angry is that of marriage and family”
Will the practice continue in future
Various authors referred to in the literature review seemed to suggest that the practice of bridewealth would continue in spite of its above mentioned disadvantages and socio-cultural changes taking place, especially in modern cities such like Nairobi. According to the researcher, the most appealing explanation used by those authors to support this view was the one rooted in the fact that in the traditional African society the purpose of human existence was understood in terms of fostering life. All activities were geared towards achieving that goal. Fostering of that life force took place through marriage, which was “the most responsible phase in life” (Mbiti, 1975, p. 104). And bridewealth was an integral, and in most cases indispensable, part of marriage process (Mbiti, 1975, p. 107, Magesa, 1997, p. 122, Waruta, 2005, p. 102).
Research integration
The researcher believes that his field findings and literature findings, alongside with some parts of the presentation by Prof Achola are in basic agreement about the role of bridewealth and the difficulty it causes to some people in urban areas. All three sources confirm that the practice of bridewealth exists and is relevant in life of people belonging to Luo community. The advantages of bridewealth as found in the field research correspond closely to the one mentioned by such popular writers as Mbiti and Magesa and what Prof Achola presented in his class. The disadvantages, as found in the field research, correspond to what contemporary writers such as Waruta, O’Donovan and Kisembo pointed out to claiming that the practice of bridewealth was influenced by economic and cultural factors and caused some problems in preparation for marriage. At the same time, it is clear that even though the Luo traditions, as well as of other communities, are being challenged yet, the Luo respondents were quite attached to their traditions, bridewealth being one of them.
The researcher found that the understanding of bridewealth among the Luo residents of Nairobi was similar to the one found in books. However, they were also aware of the fact that new factors influenced the practice of bridewealth, making it sometimes a very difficult obligation to fulfill.
If the researcher was to draw some conclusions based on his research findings, literature and class notes review (being aware of the danger of generalization), he would say that:
These reflections seemed the most important when reflecting upon the value and relevance of bridewealth. Other reflections could have been drawn that would reflect multidimensionality of the concept of bridewealth.
Conclusions and recommendations
Bridewealth was an important practice in the Luo community. It was a means of strengthening relationships, legalizing marriage and legalizing children. It bound two individuals, their families and even their communities.
The changes taking place in the modern society challenge the practice. It still remains a relevant practice especially to parents whose children want to marry. At the same time its abuse by those who do not understand its cultural relevance but use it as a means to get property causes serious problems for young people.
As a recommendation, the researcher would suggest to make a further inquiry into the modern practice of bridewealth in order to find new ways of fulfilling that still relevant cultural obligation. These new ways would comprise the traditional understanding of bridewealth and take into account difficult life conditions of many young people in Nairobi that create an obstacle or make it even impossible to fulfill it. Such a project would involve parents, who often are attached to traditions and yet living in situations where those traditions are difficult to fulfill, and Church leaders.
The researcher set out to investigate various facades of the practice of bridewealth. Defining it, exploring people involved in it, seeing its advantages and disadvantages and the challenges it faces in the modern society, was a very fruitful endeavor. The researcher learnt a lot about the practice and its impact on people’s lives. It allowed him to understand better an important element of African culture and how it affects daily lives of modern Nairobi residents from the Luo community.
The complexity and importance of bridewealth and its practical relevance to the daily life in the contemporary society influenced the researcher’s desire to undertake a more deep study of this topic for his MA dissertation.
Bibliography
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Waruta, D.W. (2005), “Marriage and family in contemporary African society: challenges in pastoral counseling” In Waruta, D.W and Kinoti, H.W. Pastoral care in African Christianity, (2nd ed.), pp. 101-119. Nairobi: Acton Publishers.
Field Research Notes
Interview 1.
17.01.09. Dandora. About marriage. 2 couples were interviewed: a Kisii couple and a Taita couple. The Kisii couple was married for 1 year, the Taita couple for 17. Marriage was defined as a ‘union of two people becoming one’, ‘two people joining to become one to start a new family’. The reasons for marriage: to help each other, because God said so, that people should be two, to develop one another, for procreation, for companionship, to satisfy biological needs, it helps in daily life in distributing work, because there is a time when people should get married, because of love. Marriage is supposed to last who life, till death.
The same Kisii couple was interviewed concerning bridewealth. The man was 32 years old and his wife was 24. They were married for a year. They defined bridewealth as money or a token of some kind as agreed upon that is given in exchange for the bride. It was given to strengthen the relationship between the two families. It was seen a measure of commitment of the groom to the bride, whether ‘groom is serious’ about his marriage. The amount paid depended upon the education of the girl, whether she was a virgin, a good person, the financial status of the groom and the negotiating ability of his team that took part in bridewealth negotiations. They believed that the practice of bridewealth may not continue in the near future because of the prevailing economic condition and the practice of ‘come and stay’ that was popular.
A 49 year old Taita man was interviewed concerning bridewealth. He defined it as a ‘token given to the parents of the girl for migrating from her family to start another one’. He saw it also in terms of money generating approach which meant that a girl was, as if, sold to the other family. In his case, paying bridewealth was an obstacle but it was ‘a must’. He believes that the practice should be maintained though in a more moderate form that would prevent some a possible exploitation of young men. He believes that such a practice should not happen among Christians.
Interview 2.
24.01.09. River Estate. 4 people were interviewed: One Kikuyu lady, one Luo lady and 2 Luo men. The Kikuyu lady contributed very little to the discussion and when she did, her views coincided with the views of the Luo respondents. Describing courtship they said that it started with a boy like a girl. He asked her out again. After some time the boy introduced the lady to his family and then, she did to her family. When they decided to marry, the elders got involved and the parents of both met. After that preparations started to be made in the Church. They were not supposed to have sex before marriage. Traditionally interactions between those to be married were limited – it was supposed to prevent an opportunity to have sex. Kissing was not practiced – it could lead to sex. Interaction was also discouraged with the future mother in law. Once the first installment of bridewealth was completed, traditional marriage ceremony could be performed. Sex before marriage among the Luo was also discouraged because it could result in pregnancy and an unmarried lady with a child would be taken usually as a second wife only or married by an old man.
Bridewealth was defined as a ‘payment in exchange to take the girl’, ‘a gift that one has to give to bring families together’. It helped to create friendship, to give thanks to the parents of the bride, a way of appreciation, but also an obligation. Bridewealth is still very much practiced, though the form of payment changed, at least in some instances, from animals, honey, local brew to case. Even now, some animal is to be given as a part of dowry. The respondents supported strongly the idea of maintaining the practice of bridewealth because to ‘eliminate it would be a sign of irresponsibility’ – bridewealth being a practical expression of the bridegroom’s ability to take care of the family.
Interview 3.
31.01.09. Dandora. A 31 year old Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as a gift given to the parents of the girl to show them respect on the part of the boy and his family. Acceptance of bridewealth on the part of the parents of the girl means that they agree that she can be taken. The interviewee mentioned also that bridewealth is a sign that after marriage both boy and girl will live well, without creating problems. The amount of bridewealth depends upon the level of education of the girl and her character.
Interview 4.
31.01.09. Dandora. 2 Luo men were interviewed: one was 43 years old, the other was 54 years old. They defined bridewealth in terms of a gift that the bridegroom gives to the parents of the bride, a payment that the bridegroom makes when he wants to marry a girl, a way of showing respect for the parents of the girl by providing them with money that they had spent on their daughter. Even though money is a preferred way of paying it, some animals have to be provided as a part of the bridewealth. Those animals serve as a proof that the marriage was contracted and a means of increasing the wealth of the family of the bride. If the father of the bride asks for bridewealth and he himself had not paid it, he would die. All three acknowledged that the payment of bridewealth was an obstacle in their marriage. In spite of that, all would like to keep that practice –one of the reasons provided was that it was a custom and it could not be left out.
Interview 5.
05.02.09. Langata, a 31 year old Luia man, cohabiting, was interviewed. He defined bridewealth as a ‘process whereby the family/clan of the husband gives the gifts to the family of the bride as a sign of appreciation’. When the researcher challenged him whether it was a gift and as such could not be given, he also said that it was an obligation and one was expected to do it. It was a necessary condition of marriage. One had to pay bridewealth for marriage to be recognized and to take place. He provided reasons for paying bridewealth such as: the groom appreciates his bride/wife, their marriage is recognized, children have legitimacy by becoming members of the father’s clan, one learns more about the other family. Traditionally cows were used to pay for bridewealth. They were seen as a sign of life, as an evidence that is has been paid. When a couple had a boy, then during his initiation that boy would go to his grandfather who had received bridewealth and the grandfather was expected to give that boy a cow. The interviewee believed that the practice of bridewealth will continue because of the importance of the psychological aspect: if you do not pay it, you are not blessed by the parents of the bride; because it unites the families and legitimized the couple and their children.
Interview 6.
06.02.09. Hardy. A 25 year old Kisii married lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as ‘money paid to your parents when you are taken away from home to your marital home’. It was meant to compensate her parents for taking care of the daughter from childhood to adulthood. It was also a sign of appreciation for giving their daughter in marriage. In her case, their parents did not ask for any bridewealth, but the family of the groom decided to give them some amount of money. They felt that ‘it was not right not to give anything’. She said that there was no advantages of the practice of bridewealth. Its disadvantages were: it makes man feel as if he bought the girl, a way of rating the value of the girl, it cuts off the lady from her family – she belongs then to the clan of the groom. She believes that the practice will not continue due to intermarriage between communities. According to her, the intermarriage dilutes traditional practices and people ‘step out of traditional ways because it doesn’t serve the purpose’.
Interview 7.
14.02.09. Dandora. A 50 year old Kisii, married woman was interviewed. The interview was in Swahili. She defined bridewealth as ‘payment on the side of the man to the side of the lady to bring about relationship’. It was a proof that the girl was married into a new family and became a part of that new family. The amount of bridewealth varied depending upon the wealth of the groom’s family, the education of the bride, upon the amount asked by the parents of the bride and the ability of those involved in the negotiations. Traditionally, bridewealth was paid by using cows and goats because people had no money. These days, people still use cows and goats but also money. According to her, it is not necessary to provide an animal that would have to accompany bridewealth paid in cash.
She claimed that it is the family of the bride that would go to the family of the groom to negotiate the amount of bridewealth. If the groom himself cannot afford to pay bridewealth, his parents, family and friends would contribute. Also the bridewealth received for his sister could be used.
Among advantages of the custom she enumerated:
· It was an official recognition of the marriage; official recognition of the status of the bride as a wife and of the children;
· If the wife died before the bridewealth was paid, the husband would have to pay it before he could be allowed to marry her – paying bridewealth was a way of avoiding future issues;
· It gave the wife respect – she was seen as a wife of so and so;
· It was also a sign that the lady was no more available for marriage to somebody else.
Disadvantages of bridewealth:
· If bridewealth was not paid, it would usually cause some problems;
· The recognition of the union depended upon groom’s capacity to pay it;
· It could result in treating the wife as one’s property – bridewealth paid was used as an explanation to mistreat the wife.
Interview 8.
24.02.09, Tangaza. A Luo lady who was married for 5 years was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as ‘a gift, a token the man’s side offered communally to the woman’ side’. It could take various forms: money, animals and other gifts like mats, fish, baskets (depending upon the community the man was coming from – if they were living by the lake, they would bring fish…).
Bridewealth was given because it opens the door to two families to know each other. It affirms the marriage – it was like a ‘traditional certificate’ of marriage. Bridewealth cements marriage and it gives right to ownership, inheritance and other claims such as a place of burial of the woman and of children.
The amount paid depended upon the agreement between the two families, economic situation of the man and how much both families were attached to their local traditions. The ‘consent money’ would be given to the members of the family, especially the mother, who would get the biggest part of it, and after it, the young could live together. It would be given in envelopes. When the bridewealth was given, most of it would go to the father.
Among the Luo, bridewealth was not so important and high as among other communities. It was not meant to be ‘temporary issue’ – it was an ‘everlasting indebtness’ whereby the man was to contribute on various occasions.
Community contributed to bridewealth by giving some money or animals. One animal had to come from the father of the groom. Once given to the father of the bride through his spokesperson, he could use it in a variety of ways, one of them being to pay for the bridewealth of his sons.
Advantages of the practice:
· It raises the status of the lady’s family and the man’s family in terms of ownership;
· It could be of help to less privileged members of groom’s family;
· It could be used to pay for the bridewealth of the sons;
· It served as a confirmation of marriage
· It uplifted the economic status by enabling them to acquire more property.
Disadvantages of the practice:
· Once bridewealth was exchanged, marriage was official and was not be broken. It affected especially the wife and the children who lived with an abusive husband and father. In case of divorce, the bridewealth was to be returned, and often it was already used by the family of the wife – practice of bridewealth effectively encouraged the wife to stay in that relationship;
· A lot could be asked as bridewealth. As a result, the young could elope or the future husband would have to take loans to be able to pay for bridewealth. As a result, the new family would start their marital life with some debts that would not be helpful.
Interview 9.
26.02.09. A 35 year old Luo lady who was married for 10 years was interviewed. Bridewealth (“nyombo” in Luo) was defined by her as “a token given to the parents of the wife as a sign of respect, a sign of reward for bringing up the girl”. Before it was paid in cows, bulls and goats. Today money is the preferential mode of paying it, with some cows that are also supposed to be given. The animal/s given to the parents, on the top of money, help the parents to remember their daughter and are a source of wealth, because these cows are supposed to multiply.
Consent money (“ayie”) was given to the mother and other family members involved in the marriage negotiations. Once it was given, it signified the permission of the parents of the girl to start living with the boy.
In her case, the payment of bridewealth remains an obstacle in formalizing their marriage – because it was not paid yet, they have no Church wedding.
Advantages of the practice:
· It was a source of wealth to the family of the bride; having daughters meant an increase in wealth;
· Cows given in bridewealth could be used in family celebrations, e.g. it could be slaughtered for burial;
· If bridewealth was not spent, it provided an opportunity for the girl to come back to her parental home. Then, bridewealth was to be returned to the family of the groom. However, if there were children born in that marriage, bridewealth was not to be returned;
Disadvantages of the practice:
· If there were problems in the family, and the bridewealth was spent, it, somehow, forced the wife to continue staying in an abuse relationship;
· If bridewealth was given in livestock, if there was a disease, it could be easily lost;
· In case of the death of the wife before bridewealth was completed, it could create tension between the husband and late wife’s family concerning the place of burial;
· The institution of bridewealth could be used as a means of abusing and disrespecting the bride.
The respondent was firmly convinced that the practice of bridewealth will continue because “Luo don’t want to forfeit their culture. They believe that if they forfeit it an evil thing will happen. According to her, the practice should be perpetuated though it should be made less strict by providing more room for the groom to contribute bridewealth.
Interview 10.
27.03.09, Dandora. A 29 years old married Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as a “traditional thing, a token of thanksgiving for raising up, and educating the girl, a way of saying thank you”. Bridewealth was given in terms of livestock and money. These days money seems to be used a lot more. However, even if money is given, at least one cow is to be given. The father of the groom is supposed to help his son in giving him at least one cow. If he is not able to afford it, he is to get at least a rope which will be used to take that animal to girl’s parents. That rope signifies that cow was given by the father.
The respondent mentioned the following advantages of bridewealth:
· It is seen as a “signature of marriage”;
· It helps the groom and the bride in validating their state of life;
· It is a source of wealth, especially if the parents of the bride are poor and the parents of the groom are rich;
· It promotes a sense of justice: if the father of the bride did not pay bridewealth himself, he cannot ask it from the groom of his daughter;
· It is a source of blessing for everybody: the parents of the girl get some wealth, and the groom and his family get a new member who will bear children and contribute to the growth of their community.
The disadvantages mentioned were:
· It is an obstacle in the Christian wedding because the payment of bridewealth is a pre-condition to marry in the Church;
· Some people ask for a lot of money as a payment of bridewealth;
· It may create the problems for the family of the girl if she wants to terminate the marriage and return home and they have already spent the bridewealth. However if children were born, bridewealth is not to be returned. Hence, bridewealth was contributing to wives staying in some abusive relationships;
· If the parents cannot agree about bridewealth, the young may have to wait till the parents are dead to formalize their relationship.
Interview 11.
26.02.09. A 35 year old Luo lady who was married for 10 years was interviewed. Bridewealth (“nyombo” in Luo) was defined by her as“a token given to the parents of the wife as a sign of respect, a sign of reward for bringing up the girl”. In the past it was paid in cows, bulls and goats. Today money is the preferential mode of paying it, with some cows that are also supposed to be given. The animal/s given to the parents, on the top of money, help the parents to remember their daughter and are a source of wealth, because these cows are supposed to multiply.
Consent money (“ayie”) was given to the mother and other family members involved in the marriage negotiations. Once it was given, it signified the permission of the parents of the girl to start living with the boy.
In her case, the payment of bridewealth remains an obstacle in formalizing their marriage – because it was not paid yet, they have no Church wedding.
Advantages of the practice:
· It was a source of wealth to the family of the bride; having daughters meant an increase in wealth;
· Cows given in bridewealth could be used in family celebrations, e.g. it could be slaughtered for burial;
· If bridewealth was not spent, it provided an opportunity for the girl to come back to her parental home. Then, bridewealth was to be returned to the family of the groom. However, if there were children born in that marriage, bridewealth was not to be returned;
Disadvantages of the practice:
· If there were problems in the family, and the bridewealth was spent, it, somehow, forced the wife to continue staying in an abuse relationship;
· If bridewealth was given in livestock, if there was a disease, it could be easily lost;
· In case of the death of the wife before bridewealth was completed, it could create tension between the husband and late wife’s family concerning the place of burial;
· The institution of bridewealth could be used as a means of abusing and disrespecting the bride.
The respondent was firmly convinced that the practice of bridewealth will continue because “Luo don’t want to forfeit their culture. They believe that if they forfeit it an evil thing will happen. According to her, the practice should be perpetuated though it should be made less strict by providing more room for the groom to contribute bridewealth.
Interview 12.
27.02.09, Dandora. A 29 years old married Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as a “traditional thing, a token of thanksgiving for raising her up, and educating the girl, a way of saying thank you”. Bridewealth was given in terms of livestock and money. These days money seems to be used a lot more. However, even if money is given, at least one cow is to be given. The father of the groom is supposed to help his son in giving him at least one cow. If he is not able to afford it, he is to get at least a rope which will be used to take that animal to girl’s parents. That rope signifies that cow was given by the father.
The respondent mentioned the following advantages of bridewealth:
· It is seen as a “signature of marriage”;
· It helps the groom and the bride in validating their state of life;
· It is a source of wealth, especially if the parents of the bride are poor and the parents of the groom are rich;
· It promotes a sense of justice: if the father of the bride did not pay bridewealth himself, he cannot ask it from the groom of his daughter;
· It is a source of blessing for everybody: the parents of the girl get some wealth, and the groom and his family get a new member who will bear children and contribute to the growth of their community.
The disadvantages mentioned were:
· It is an obstacle in the Christian wedding because the payment of bridewealth is a pre-condition to marry in the Church;
· Some people ask for a lot of money as a payment of bridewealth;
· It may create the problems for the family of the girl if she wants to terminate the marriage and return home and they have already spent the bridewealth. However if children were born, bridewealth is not to be returned. Hence, bridewealth was contributing to wives staying in some abusive relationships;
· If the parents cannot agree about bridewealth, the young may have to wait till the parents are dead to formalize their relationship.
Interview 13
14.03.09, Dandora. A 27 years old Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as something “like a present for the parents of the girl”. It was given because the parents of the girls have raised their daughter up. The amount depended upon the parents and their wealth. The obligation of bridewealth “doesn’t have an end-each time you go to visit the parents you contribute something”. These days, money is mostly used to pay bridewealth, though at least one cow is to be given. Animals serve as a way to remember and a proof that marriage has been contracted.
If the groom can pay himself, he can do it. At the same time, his father is to give one cow as a contribution to bridewealth. If he cannot do it, he can provide a rope that is then returned to him signifying that the bridewealth was paid.
The respondent mentioned following advantages of the practice:
· cows and money help the parents in their life;
· the parents can use it for various purposes such as building a house;
· it can be used to pay for school fees and bridewealth for younger siblings.
Among the disadvantages, the following were enumerated:
· “we are not married traditionally because bridewealth was not delivered”;
· The eldest son is to deliver is first, and the eldest daughter is to paid bridewealth for as the first person. Those who are younger, are not supposed to marry before him/her. If the groom cannot pay it, it causes problems in the family.
Modern factors that influence the practice were related to economic conditions that make is more difficult to pay. Because of that, even if the couple lives in a union, they and especially, the groom cannot go to visit the parents of the bride because he would feel ashamed. People bypass the obligation of bridewealth by living together and not paying it. As a result those unions are not as stable as traditional marriages. People may then be involved with more partners and as a result it may contribute to the spread of AIDS.
Interview 14
19.03.09, Otiende. A 45 year old married Luo man was interviewed. He defined bridewealth as a “appreciation of the parents for their work done”. He stressed that “you don’t buy the girl –it was not buying because you cannot value somebody’s life with animals”. If the girl was a virgin, the boy had to pay more bridewealth. These days money is the preferred means of paying it, though at least one animal has to be given. If there is no animal given, usually at least one cow, it is not considered that bridewealth was paid. The obligation of bridewealth is “endless – you are supposed to take the family of the bride as your own family and you continue helping them”.
The respondent stressed that if one did not pay bridewealth for his wife, he could not get it for his daughter. It was a traditional way of disciplining people to pay it.
Advantages of bridewealth were: a sign of appreciation, it makes people responsible by caring for the animals given in bridewealth and those animals could multiply, increase the wealth of the family and/or be slaughtered for various family occasions.
Disadvantages: a father could ask for too much, people having difficulty to raise it and the payment of bridewealth was actually seen as a sign of marriage. If people cannot pay it, it spoils the relationship between them and the parents.
He claimed that the practice is on the way of extinction because of the economic issues making it difficult to collect it among many people.
African customs create a rich culture. A wide variety of cultural forms testifies to that richness. Those forms are expressed at various points in the life and an individual and the community as a whole. They are especially visible during the rites of passage.
One of the crucial rites of passage is marriage. Marriage expresses one’s commitment to follow commonly accepted norms of the society of which one is a member. Marital commitment articulates one’s conviction about the importance of family life and of procreation. Being married and to have children affects not only one’s earthly destiny. It also has ‘eternal’ consequences based on African beliefs in afterlife.
Among various elements involved in the rite of marriage bridewealth plays an important role. The researcher wants to explore more about the practice of bridewealth.
Justification
The researcher is interested in acquiring knowledge about bridewealth among Luo urban dwellers of Nairobi. He reckons that marriage is of great importance in Africa and that bridewealth seems to be an essential element of marriage (Mbiti, 1975, p. 107). He is also aware of the changes taking place in the modern African society (Waruta, 2005, p. 101; O’Donovan, 2000, p. 77). He wants to find out whether the traditional understanding of bridewealth has been affected as a result of those changes.
Purpose
The researcher wants to focus on the role that bridewealth plays among selected members of Luo community, who are married or cohabiting together in the area of Nairobi. His interest lies in investigating whether the contemporary understanding of bridewealth, with its various dimensions, among the Luo urban dwellers of Nairobi remains the same in comparison with its traditional meaning as found in literature.
The main objectives of the study to which the researcher wants to find answers are as follow
1) What is bridewealth;
2) Who is involved in bridewealth;
3) Are there any changes in the contemporary society that would affect the practice of bridewealth;
4) What are the advantages of the practice of bridewealth;
5) What are the disadvantages of the practice;
6) Will the practice continue in the future.
Methodology
The choice of methodology was dictated by the purpose of the research. The researcher believed that choosing qualitative approach would give him more flexibility in collecting, analyzing and presenting data. Such an approach allowed the researcher to ask questions answers to which were not necessarily easy to quantify. It gave him more freedom in asking open-ended questions which provided the respondents with the possibility of replying to them in their own words (Barker, 2002, pp. 74-75). Due to the number of respondents and the research topic, the quantitative method did not seem to be appropriate because it would not provide enough of data to be presented in a relevant way.
Methods of collecting data
Keeping in mind the type of data the researcher was interested in collecting, the researcher believed that semi-structured interviews would be the best choice. There were some group interviews, though most were individual ones. Those interviews consisted of ‘a written list of questions and topics that need to be covered in a particular order’ (Russell, 1994, p. 209). During those interviews, an interview guide, especially prepared by the researcher, was used. The interview guide was corrected and updated on several occasions due to feedback from the field assistant and the respondents. Interviews were conducted in English and Swahili.
Methods of interpreting data
Keeping in mind the small scope of this project, the researcher decided to use some elements of descriptive statistics in order to provide simple summaries of the findings.
The researcher used content analysis to interpret data. His task consisted of coming up with a set of categories, and then to analyze his text again in order to find out how many instances fall into that category (Dominik, 2007, p.53).
The respondents
The researcher interviewed 13 people from the Luo community. All of them were adults between 27-54 years old. Among them there were 8 women and 5 men.
Ethical issues
All respondents were contacted beforehand and were provided either with a verbal explanation about area of the research or were given an interview guide. All of them explicitly agreed to participate in the research and allowed the researcher to use the data provided by them in the writing the course paper. The permission to take notes was always asked by the researcher and always given. Other ethical aspects such as safeguarding respondents’ rights, interests and sensitivities, protecting their privacy and anonymity taken into account during the research process (Spradley, 1980, pp. 20-25; Coolican, 1997, pp. 395-397).
Limitations of the research
The main limitation, according to the researcher, was the limited number of the respondents interviewed. Generalizations based on such a number may not reflect the beliefs of the Luo community as such. This research could be a starting point for a further research that would be larger in its scope.
Another limitation was seen in the fact that members of the Luo community living in Nairobi for a number of years, due to various factors, seemed to have less knowledge about their traditions. At the same time, such a realization was the confirmation of the relevance of the research topic. The difference between understanding of bridewealth among rural dwellers and Nairobi dwellers from the Luo community could serve as a research topic in the future.
Field Research findings
What is bridewealth
Bridewealth was an integral part of marriage procedures. A Luo man said that “to marry it has to be paid. If there is no bridewealth, they (the couple) can run away, stay together, have children but it is not recognized as a marriage. It brings shame” (cf. App.#, no. 4). One lady said that “traditionally, every adult man/woman was expected to marry/get married. Unless one married upon attaining the right age, one stood no chance of being counted as an adult. Marriage would be recognized as such only after the bridewealth has been given” (cf. App.#, no. 13).
One Luo respondent defined bridewealth (“nyombo”) as a “payment that is given in exchange for the girl” (cf. App.#, no. 2). Some of the respondents stressed that it was “like a gift, though an obligatory one, which is given to the parents (“yuora”) of the girl”. It was a way of showing respect and appreciation to them for the work and expenses of bringing up their daughter (cf. App.#, no. 3, 4).
Traditionally bridewealth was given in animals, especially cows and goats. One person enumerated other things that could be used traditionally to pay bridewealth. She said that bridewealth “included animal part and other gifts such as ‘kitenge’ (traditional cloth), honey, beer, baskets and mats” (cf. App.#, no. 8). It could also be contributed through the labor. Animals were usually used for various reasons, e.g. they served as a reminder of the marriage having been contracted and the fact that by multiplying, the wealth of the family would increase. These days money is the most common way of paying bridewealth. Even if the amount of bridewealth is given in terms of cows, it can be converted into money. However, most respondents stressed that some animals would have to be given as well, at least one cow.
The amount of bridewealth depended upon a number of factors such as: the general economic situation of the country, financial ability of the groom and his family, beauty, character and education of the bride.
Bridewealth could be paid in installments. According to some respondents the minimal amount to be paid in the first installment that would give the groom the right to live with the bride was one cow and one goat (cf. App.#, no. 2, 4). Another claimed it was 3 cows and 4-5 goats (cf. App.#, no. 3).
Culturally, the groom was always ‘bound’ by bridewealth – it was an ongoing process that meant, using the words of one respondent, “everlasting indebtedness” (cf. App.#, no. 8). In practice there was no upper limit of bridewealth because the groom was expected to contribute to various family occasions and to give something to the parents each time he visited them. One person described it as follows: “It is never finished. Whenever the husband went to visit the father of the wife, he was expected to bring something, usually cash, for the family” (cf. App.#, no. 9). Another respondent said that it was “ongoing, you keep contributing. There is no upper limit, it depends upon your generosity” (cf. App.#, no. 4).
Who is involved in bridewealth
All respondents mentioned that bridewealth played an important role in the society. Bridewealth was a crucial element in marriage negotiations. That close relationship was mentioned by one person who said that the word “nyombo” is used for both bridewealth and marriage (cf. App.#, no. 9). Another word used for marriage is “kend”.
First of all, bridewealth was an expression of the willingness of the boy to marry a girl. The interest of the boy in marrying a girl would be the first step in the process of paying bridewealth. He would be the one involved at all stages of the process. If he could afford, he would be the main contributor to pay bridewealth.
The girl would also be involved in bridewealth. She would be the reason of bridewealth – the parents, family and the community would be losing a productive member of the community and bridewealth would be a compensation for it. The bride’s qualities and education would be important in negotiating the amount of bridewealth.
Bridewealth involved the parents of the girl. It was “a way of showing respect towards the parents of the girl because an individual was paying for the expenses the parents had concerning their daughter” (cf. App.#, no. 4). One lady described it as follows: “the groom has to pay it because of my hardships involved in bringing my daughter up. Even my daughter would not accept to be married without bridewealth being paid”. Another respondent said that “it was a token of thanksgiving. If you didn’t pay it you are cheating the parents. It was a way of saying thank you and not a way of buying the girl” (cf. App.#, no. 10).
The parents of the girl were the ones to agree on the amount of bridewealth to be paid. Such an agreement depended upon their attachment to the traditions and their understanding of the role of bridewealth. That understanding could be a reason to quote a relatively small amount to be contributed. However, if they saw it in terms of acquiring wealth, a high amount, difficult to pay, could be quoted by them (cf. App.#, no. 6).
One person said that “ni lazima kupeleka mahari kwenye nyumba ya wazazi, hapo wanapoishi” (It is necessary to send bridewealth to the place where the parents live) (cf. App.#, no. 3). In case of people living in Nairobi, one person claimed that it should be sent to the place they came from. The acceptance of bridewealth by the parents meant that they were giving their permission to marry and that they were blessing them.
The mother of the bride was the one to receive “ayie” (consent money). It was given to her because she would be the one being most affected by her daughter being taken away from her.
The father of the bride was the one who received bridewealth. He could use it for a variety of purposes. Usually it would be used for school fees, to pay bridewealth for his other sons, to pay his debts and to distribute it among other family members, especially the ones who were poor. The father would keep some animals as a sign of the marriage having been contracted (cf. App.#, no. 8).
In general, for the parents of the girl, payment of bridewealth was a sign of respect on the side of the groom and his family. One respondent said that: “it was a wealth for the family - they get animals, they get milk and respect in the village” (cf. App.#, no. 5)
Other members of the bride’s family would also be involved in bridewealth. Usually, when the mother received “ayie”, the close relatives would also receive some money in “bahasha” (envelopes). Elders, uncles and friends of the bride would be the ones negotiating the amount of bridewealth. The spokesperson of the family would receive bridewealth from the family of the groom and give it to the father of the bride (cf. App.#, no. 2, 8).
The parents of the groom would also actively participate in the process of bridewealth. They would be the first ones to whom the son would communicate his desire to marry. They would go to visit the family of the groom and would participate in choosing those who would be sent to the bride’s family to negotiate.
Two respondents mentioned that “the father of the groom was supposed to provide at least one cow for bridewealth of his son. If he did not have it, the father would give him a rope symbolizing that he is giving him a cow” (cf. App.#, no. 10, 11). That rope would be then returned to him when bridewealth was paid.
Chosen members of both families would be involved in bridewealth negotiations. On the part of the groom (“or”) the following could participate in it: elders from the family, the father, uncles and friends. On the side of the bride (“dhako”) the elders, the father and elder brothers could participate in it. The process of paying and receiving bridewealth was a source of respect for both families in their respective communities. It meant that they followed local traditions.
Bridewealth brought involved families together and created friendships between them. Since the families would usually belong to different clans and communities, bridewealth contributed to forming relationships between them.
On the community level, which by implication would involve both families, the parents of the bride and the groom, and the couple, bridewealth legalized the marriage. The respondents described it as a “traditional certificate”, “proof of validity” and a “signature of marriage”. It legalized the status of the wife, as well as of children and their rights.
What are the advantages of the practice of bridewealth
Many advantages enumerated by the respondents have already been referred to. It has been pointed out that bridewealth was a practical expression of the gratitude of the groom and his family for having brought the bride up. It was a seal of marriage that gave the young the permission to stay together, provided legitimacy to their union, confirmed their status as a husband and wife and provided legitimacy to their children. It strengthened connections between the families and clans involved. It was a ‘quid pro quo’ exchange: the family of the groom was giving animals and money and receiving a new member of the community and the family of the bride was losing a member of their family but they were being compensated in terms of livestock and money.
Another advantage of bridewealth was that it gave the couple mutual rights, e.g. if bridewealth was completed or some agreed upon amount of it was paid, in case of the death of the wife, the husband could bury her and the children would stay with him. If it was not the case, the husband would have to pay bridewealth first or otherwise the wife could be buried in the homestead of her parents and children would be claimed by her family (cf. App.#, no. 4). One respondent said that “If bridewealth is not paid, you cannot bury your wife. If you do it it is a curse. And if you marry another, your wife will die, even if you pay bridewealth for her” (cf. App.#, no. 5).
What are the disadvantages of the practice of bridewealth
Some disadvantages have also been mentioned already. Girls could be considered as a means of acquiring wealth. One responded said that “the more girls you have, the more wealth you will have in terms of cattle and goats” (cf. App.#, no. 14). By asking the large amount of money or a large number of animals, the parents were focusing on becoming rich rather than in anything else. Hence, It could be perceived that the value of the bride was related to the amount asked. It contributed to the spread of promiscuity and HIV/AIDS. Some young people could not marry, either traditionally or in the Church, because they would not be able to raise it. Some would elope.
Most of the respondents lived in unions, some for even for a long time, that would not be traditionally recognized as marriages. Inability to pay bridewealth was the main reason of such a situation. One respondent said: “We are not married traditionally because bridewealth was no delivered” (cf. App.#, no. 13).
Bride could be considered as a commodity that has been bought and hence could be treated as an object (cf. App.#, no. 2).
If it was not paid, the father of the bride could curse the couple. A curse could also result from breaking certain taboos around bridewealth, like somebody eating the chicken prepared for the groom (cf. App.#, no. 3).
Bridewealth could contribute to some psychological problems. The groom who was not able to pay would live in shame and could not visit the family of the bride.
Traditionally, the eldest son and the eldest daughter were to marry/be married first. If the groom was not able to pay bridewealth, the other siblings had difficulty in marrying, even if they could pay it.
Returning bridewealth meant dissolution of marriage. If bridewealth was returned, the marriage union was annulled, especially when the lady was found to be barren.
It could happen that the wife and the children would have to stay in an abuse situation because the family of the wife would not be able to return the bridewealth in case she wanted to leave the husband (cf. App.#, no. 10).
Are there any changes in the contemporary society that would affect the practice of bridewealth
The respondents pointed out that the practice of bridewealth was undergoing some changes. It was due to several factors.
One of them was related to the increasing role of money as the favorite means of paying bridewealth. Even though most of them claimed that some amount of it was supposed to be paid in animals, payment in cash was widely spread.
Some referred to the poor economic situation affecting the practice. In the traditional society, people would live in villages and would usually have livestock to use to pay bridewealth. In the contemporary society, many urban residents live in poor conditions and it is very difficult for them to raise bridewealth. Some respondents could not complete bridewealth because they were not able to save due to hard economic conditions facing many Kenyans.
Education has also affected the practice of bridewealth. Educated parents might not be interested in receiving bridewealth. At the same time, some parents, after having educated their daughter, may increase the amount of bridewealth. One respondent said that “a lot can be asked. As a result, the groom may have to get a loan and the new family would start their life with a significant amount of debts” (cf. App.#, no. 8).
Some pointed out to the fact that Christianity is a factor influencing the practice. It can be a help or actually an obstacle. Some Christian parents said that they would allow their daughter to marry a man even though he might not be able to pay bridewealth at that moment. It was motivated by the Christian beliefs – if they did not allow, the girl and the boy could have sex outside marriage.
Christianity has also had some negative influences because some Churches require a confirmation that bridewealth was paid. Otherwise they would not allow the wedding to be celebrated. On the other hand, one person added that “some denominations try to do away with bridewealth believing that bridewealth was causing drift in families”.
Westernization and individualization of the society have also challenged the practice. They have contributed to what one person described as “some lack of care about others” (cf. App.#, no. 11).
Inability to pay bridewealth among some young people was a main factor to elope and to live together in unions that were not traditionally recognized as marriages.
Bridewealth was traditionally seen as a sign of one’s commitment. These days some young people choose not to pay it and yet they want to live together. Such an approach is seen as a way of avoiding commitment and contributes to the phenomenon of ‘come-and-stay’. It is also influenced by inability of some young people to pay it. Such a situation contributes to the spread of promiscuity and HIV/AIDS (cf. App.#, no. 8).
One person summarized it in the following way: “Education, Christianity, urbanization and westernization diminish the role of bridewealth, though it is still important – the culture is still an underlying idea in one’s head” (cf. App.#, no. 8).
Will the practice continue in the future
All the respondents claimed that the practice of bridewealth is ongoing in towns and villages. They believed that the practice would continue because it served to “perpetuate culture and tradition”, because it was “kitu cha maana” (meaningful thing) and because it was a “desturi – hatuwezi kuiacha (it is a custom and we cannot leave it). Also bridewealth was seen as a necessary condition of marriage without which one would be cursed (cf. App.#, no. 4).
The respondents attested that if it was in their power to retain or to remove the practice of bridewealth, they would retain it. One respondent said that “something has to be given. To remove it would be a sign of irresponsibility – ability to raise bridewealth was a practical expression of the groom’s ability to provide for his family” (cf. App.#, no. 2). Another added that: “Luo don’t want to forfeit their culture. They believe that if they forfeit it, an evil thing will happen” (cf. App.#, no. 9). At the same time when asked whether the process of paying bridewealth was a help or an obstacle in preparing for marriage, all respondents except one said that in that it was an obstacle.
Some respondents were referred to above mentioned changes taking place in the modern society as reasons for the tradition being challenged. One person said that: “Customs are important, but they are also changing” (cf. App.#, no. 10). In general, the respondents believed that the practice will continue because it was a custom - “It is a custom, so it will be followed. It cannot disappear because it is a custom” (cf. App.#, no. 11).
Literature review and class notes review
What is bridewealth
Marriage was an important rite of passage in Africa (Waruta, 2005, p. 103, Bikorwomuhangi, 2005, p. 1). It was “the most responsible phase in life” (Mbiti, 1975, p. 104). Among the Luo, it was “an essential obligation that legitimizes an adult into the community” (Bikorwomuhangi, 2005, p. 10). Marriage was believed to be ordered by God and was considered as a sacred duty, a religious obligation, which every member of the community was supposed to fulfill (Mbiti, 1975, pp. 104-106). Marriage ensured that the kinship structure of a community was perpetuated, and that the involved communities were brought and bound together. It was never a solitary affair – all the community participated in it including the dead (Magesa, 1997, pp. 110-115, Sakubu, 2003, p. 3).
Prof Achola stressed that marriage was a means of achieving companionship, to get wealth, to have children, to be immortalized as ancestors and to fulfill God’s will.
Bridewealth was an integral part of marriage process (Mbiti, 1975, p. 107, Magesa, 1997, p. 122, Warura, 2005, p. 102). Mbiti defined it as “a token of gratitude on the part of the bridegroom’s people to those of the bride, for their care over her and for allowing her to become his wife. At home the gift ‘replaces’ her reminding the family that she will leave or has left and yet she is not dead… The gift legalizes her value and the marriage contract. The institution of this practice is the most concrete symbol of the marriage covenant and security” (1969 p. 140). Elsewhere, Mbiti talked about bridewealth in terms of exchanging gifts which are asked by the parents of the girl from those of the boy (1975, p. 107). This point was also stressed by Waruta (2005, p. 107). Shorter referred to bridewealth in terms of indemnity and compensation to the bride’s family for bringing her up and losing a productive and reproductive member of the family (1998, p. 90).
Mbiti (1969, p. 140, 1975, p. 108), Magesa (1997, p. 122) and Waruta (2005, p. 107), emphasized that bridewealth should not be seen in terms of ‘payment’ for the girl – it was rather a way of fostering her dignity by showing her how important she was for the groom. At the same time Mbiti (1975, p. 108) and Bikorwomuhangi (2005, p. 4) noticed that for some parents it was a way of getting money. Shorter (1998, p. 90) summed it up saying that: “Bridewealth is not a bride-price. Women are not bought and sold, though bridewealth may come close to this as a result of the introduction of money, and the bridegroom being assessed according to his capacity to pay”. Prof Achola mentioned that bridewealth should not be seen as a price tag that was put on the girl.
Ominde said that the payment of bridewealth among the Luo took place when the boy who wanted to marry has officially presented himself to her parents and obtained their consent (1952, p. 47). Prof Achola mentioned that once the parents of the boy went to visit the parents of the girl, there was a process of negotiation. Some consent fee is paid. It is usually paid in form of money, most of which goes to the mother of the bride. Acceptance of money is a sign of accepting the offer of the family of the boy. Once it is given and accepted, the girl is officially betrothed.
Bridewealth was usually paid in form of livestock, especially the cattle, foodstuff and money (Taylor, 1963, p. 72). The process of negotiating and paying bridewealth had a lot of impact on the community. It was an outward expression of the seriousness of both families involved in marriage and a symbol of marriage bond. Prof Achola mentioned other forms of paying bridewealth: grain, potatoes, labour, bunches of bananas, bundles of firewood, gourds of milk, planting implements, watertanks, and electrical implements.
Prof Achola provided the class with three main reasons of the use of livestock in payment of bridewealth. First of all, it was a means of exchange – animals were given to bride’s family and a bride and ‘not yet born children’ were given to groom’s family. Livestock was also a way of increasing personal wealth – it would usually multiply. Secondly, animals were used in a number of rituals and celebrations. Thirdly, animals served as evidence that bridewealth was paid.
Bridewealth did not have to be paid in full. However, a failure to pay at least some significant and agreed upon part of it meant that no matter how long the couple stayed together, their union was not recognized as a marriage (Kam, 2004, p. 7). The payment of bridewealth was considered in terms of an ongoing process, strengthening the relationships between the families and communities involved (Kam, 2004, p. 4, Puthenpurakal, 2005, p. 14). Koyango-Male claimed that “in general, payment of bridewealth was never completed, and this to some extent rejuvenated the marriage…” (1984, p. 56). Prof Achola stressed that bridewealth was not usually paid in full because the family of the girl could go to ask for assistance to the family of the boy. Another reason was that it gave some control to the wife –it could be a means of exercising some control, including threats, over the husband.
Who is involved in bridewealth
Many people were involved in the process of bridewealth. It was never a solitary affair. Shorter stressed it saying that: “Many individuals of the bridegroom’s family contribute to it and many individuals of the bride’s family benefit from it” (1998, p. 90).The members of the family and the community would participate at various stages.
The practice of bridewealth was a means of ensuring the survival of the kinship, establishing very strong bonds between individuals and families coming from different clans, recognizing and legitimizing the marriage and ensuring a legal status of children born in that union and their right to inheritance (Kam, 2004, p. 4, Sakubu, 2003, p. 7). Bridewealth ensured that the community rules were followed and hence the life force was enhanced and the ancestors were content. Distribution of bridewealth among various members of the family of the bride pointed to its communitarian dimension. It stabilized marriage by involving many people in collecting it and receiving it.
What are the advantages of the practice of bridewealth
Payment of bridewealth gave the young couple an official permission to live together and have children (Mbiti, 1975, p. 108). It was a “seal of relationship” (Waruta, 2005, 107). Once bridewealth was paid, the marriage was sealed (Busieka, 2004, p. 4). Abwanda confirmed that point stressing that “according to Luo customary law, bridewealth is what really seals a marriage contract and without it there is no marriage in the Luo custom (2004, p. 9).
The payment of bridewealth also discouraged divorce because bridewealth was to be returned to the husband (Magesa, 1997, pp. 122-127, Sakubu, 2003, p. 12).
Prof Achola stressed that bridewealth protected both man and woman in marriage – one could not simply be ditched by the other. It provided the wife with the right to own the property in her new community, and it gave a right to be buried in the land of her husband or her husband’s clan. It helped both of know who their ‘significant others’ in both families were.
Shorter summarized it by saying that bridewealth was “a legal document signifying that the marriage has taken place and that the husband has conjugal rights. It legitimizes the children of the union and confers legal rights over them upon the father. Bridewealth stabilizes the marriage…” (1998, p. 90).
What are the disadvantages of the practice
Bikorwomuhangi (2005, p. 4) claimed that “bridewealth became commercialized and it is like it has degenerated into commodity exchange”. Kithinji asserted that “In Kenya today, dowry has almost been completely commercialized. The more educated a lady is the more expensive she is supposed to be at marriage” (2005, p. 54). Kisembo supported that view by saying that “when bridewealth is demanded in cash, it becomes more difficult to collect” (1998, p. 210).
Ngubane (1987) talked about disadvantages of ‘monetisation’ of bridewealth such as the transaction becoming privatized, individualized, and commercialized. And because the actual money ‘price’ was named, there was less involvement of the community and it actually diminished the role of a woman in the consequent marriage.
Prof Achola talked about the fact that some people commercialized the custom and were very inflexible in negotiations about its payment. However, he also mentioned that “It is not the amount of money that really matters but rather problems arise if the parents do not want to negotiate that amount”. According to him some feminists saw bridewealth as a way of enslaving women.
O’Donovan (2005, pp. 79-85) claimed that delaying marriages due to various economic factors, including high amount of bridewealth, contributed to premarital sex, spread of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Among Southern Luo there was a type of marriage called ‘Por’. It was understood in terms of elopement whereby the young believed they could provide bridewealth but poverty or some other circumstances prevented them temporarily from doing so. Elopement, however, would remain a stigma for the girl for the rest of her life (Ocholla-Ayayo, 1976, pp. 138-139; Othieno-Ochieng, 1968, p. 17).
Sometimes, marriages of the sons could be delayed because they had to wait for bridewealth for their sister to be given so that they could get necessary means to pay it (Koyango-Male, 1984, p. 17).
Blum pointed out to the fact that some Churches insisted and even made the payment of bridewealth a necessary condition to contract marriage in the Church (1989, p. 149). He claimed that bridewealth practice was one of the factors that gave rise to “informal marriages” that were a “result of the inability or the unwillingness of the poorer classes of society to conform to the norms of marriage” (p. 150). Among the advantages of such a type of marriage he talked about more freedom given to women to choose their partner, without paying attention to bridewealth. It also gave her more freedom to leave such a union. She was free to enter into a relationship without the consent of the parents as well as opt out of it without any interference from her family. The man in such a union did not have to make so much effort to collect bridewealth. The money that would have to be used for bridewealth could assist the couple in purchasing things for themselves (pp. 152-156).
Cohabitation and elopement would be means used to bypass the obligation of bridewealth (Bikorwomuhangi, 2005, p. 4). Kithinji says that “The dowry issue is causing a lot of problems to young people. As a result, some engagements are broken, some couples elope and others live together, until they can afford dowry and a wedding while others register their marriages secretly” (2005, p. 54).
Are there any changes in the contemporary society that would affect the practice of bridewealth
Some authors noticed that there are changes taking place in the contemporary African society. Kisembo claimed that “Modern Africa is witnessing a violent and far reaching process of social change’ (1998, p. 208). O’Donovan (2000, pp. 40-41) talked about urbanization, with its various dimensions, as one of the major reasons of sociological changes that occurred. Young people living in towns, often were not aware of the cultural values and practices of their communities. Waruta enumerated other reasons such as: introduction of monetary economies, the use of western education system, and a shift from kinship systems of relations to a more individualistic one (2005, p. 101). In many cases those changes affected adversely traditional African values, including marriage, because the traditional structures were weakened and did not longer have the strength as they did in the past (Kisembo, 1998, p. 209). Waruta (2005, p. 101) said that “if the ancestors are angry, one of the most important and basic institution in African society concerning which they have cause to be angry is that of marriage and family”
Will the practice continue in future
Various authors referred to in the literature review seemed to suggest that the practice of bridewealth would continue in spite of its above mentioned disadvantages and socio-cultural changes taking place, especially in modern cities such like Nairobi. According to the researcher, the most appealing explanation used by those authors to support this view was the one rooted in the fact that in the traditional African society the purpose of human existence was understood in terms of fostering life. All activities were geared towards achieving that goal. Fostering of that life force took place through marriage, which was “the most responsible phase in life” (Mbiti, 1975, p. 104). And bridewealth was an integral, and in most cases indispensable, part of marriage process (Mbiti, 1975, p. 107, Magesa, 1997, p. 122, Waruta, 2005, p. 102).
Research integration
The researcher believes that his field findings and literature findings, alongside with some parts of the presentation by Prof Achola are in basic agreement about the role of bridewealth and the difficulty it causes to some people in urban areas. All three sources confirm that the practice of bridewealth exists and is relevant in life of people belonging to Luo community. The advantages of bridewealth as found in the field research correspond closely to the one mentioned by such popular writers as Mbiti and Magesa and what Prof Achola presented in his class. The disadvantages, as found in the field research, correspond to what contemporary writers such as Waruta, O’Donovan and Kisembo pointed out to claiming that the practice of bridewealth was influenced by economic and cultural factors and caused some problems in preparation for marriage. At the same time, it is clear that even though the Luo traditions, as well as of other communities, are being challenged yet, the Luo respondents were quite attached to their traditions, bridewealth being one of them.
The researcher found that the understanding of bridewealth among the Luo residents of Nairobi was similar to the one found in books. However, they were also aware of the fact that new factors influenced the practice of bridewealth, making it sometimes a very difficult obligation to fulfill.
If the researcher was to draw some conclusions based on his research findings, literature and class notes review (being aware of the danger of generalization), he would say that:
- There was a very close connection between bridewealth and marriage. Bridewealth seemed to be an indispensable condition of marriage. One of the respondents said that in some areas there was one word used for both bridewealth and marriage -“nyombo” (cf. App.#, no. 7);
- Bridewealth was a means of binding individuals and communities/ethnic groups together. It was not an individual affair – a wider family and the community were a part of it. One could rely on others to support him. It was a means of binding not only two communities/ethnic groups but also of strengthening inner connection within one community. The distribution of bridewealth among various members of one’s family helped to strengthen relationships within that family and acquire wealth. In that regard, bridewealth was an exchange and sharing of wealth. It was a practical confirmation of what Mbiti claims “I am because we are and since we are, therefore I am” (1969, pp. 108-109);
- Marriage being a duty that one was to undertake, and bridewealth being its necessary component, pointed out to the sacred dimension of life in Africa. Marriage was a sacred duty, wanted by God to promote the community. In that regard, one could conclude that paying bridewealth could be seen also a sacred duty. By doing it, one was fulfilling his obligations towards God which made him to be at peace because he was promoting the life-force. Again, such an approach confirmed Mbiti’ statement that “African are notoriously religious” (1969, p. I);
- Bridewealth negotiations mostly involved men. It was confirming the importance of man as usually the most important person in dealing with important family matters;
- It was a practical way of appreciating the effort of the parents put into upbringing of their daughter. Bridewealth was a tangible expression of one’s understanding of various expenses involved in the process of raising a girl. The effort of parents was appreciated in a very concrete form;
- The practice of bridewealth pointed out to the importance of traditions in the life of the community. It was a means of preserving and strengthening the community as a whole, and a practical way of ensuring that the community would survive;
- These traditions continue to play a very important role in the lives of urban Luo dwellers. Even though the traditional understanding of bridewealth seems to be lost a bit or is not as clear as it used to be in the past due to the processes of urbanization, individualization and poor economic conditions, it is still a crucial element in one’s marriage. It shows that traditional cultural practices continue exercising an impact in spite of modern factors;
- There is a continuity and disruption in the practice of bridewealth. The continuity is to be seen in the fact that bridewealth is still practiced, in towns, and probably even more in rural areas. The disruption comes from the contemporary changes taking place in the society, especially the poor economic conditions. It is simply far more difficult for an individual living in town and not having a good job to be able to collect bridewealth. The support of the community is less available these days, especially for those who were born in towns and are often not in touch with the rest of the family in rural areas;
- For young people bridewealth may be an obstacle in marrying because of its amount. Hence, it could be argued that bridewealth is one of the factors contributing to the modern phenomenon of ‘come-and-stay’, influencing them to live in a relationship without an official marriage. Traditionally, the payment of bridewealth was a sign of the boy’s commitment to marriage and his responsibility. Without bridewealth, such an expression of commitment and responsibility may not be there. Also, the young may experience other problems related to living in such unions, e.g. rights to children and inheritance. Even if bridewealth may not be the main reasons for the existence of those problems, it can be seen as a major contributing factor;
- A come-and-stay approach to conjugal life is far more prone to disruption than traditional marriage. There may be little commitment and responsibility involved. If the main reason for a couple to stay in such a relationship is the high amount of bridewealth, it would seem that bridewealth contributes indirectly to creating some unstable relationships. If young people cannot marry because of it, it seems reasonable to assume that some of them will engage in sexual activities that were traditionally considered a part of marital life. As a result, it could be argued that in some cases bridewealth indirectly contributes to the increase of sexual immorality and spread of HIV/AIDS. Such a rather modern development points out to the fact that traditionally the payment of bridewealth was an effective means of avoiding a lot of problems in relationships. It seems reasonable to see bridewealth as a traditional means of ensuring proper relationships between the couple and the rest of the community. However, these days, in some cases, bridewealth is a means of distorting those relationships;
- It is worth mentioning that those who stressed that the practice of bridewealth would continue did not base their argument on its many advantages, but invariably rooted it in the fact that it was a tradition to be followed and as such it should and would not be changed. Nonetheless, all the respondents also acknowledged that the practice of bridewealth was often abused, was undergoing significant changes and young people were finding their ways to bypass it. The respondents appreciated the value that was traditionally attached to bridewealth and also were aware of the alterations in its application in modern Nairobi. It points out to a certain dichotonomy between the traditional understanding and the practice of bridewealth;
- The respondents believed that the practice of bridewealth would continue. Some mentioned practical ways of accommodating the practice due to the difficult economic conditions that affect many young people. They said that even though bridewealth should be paid, the groom could take a long time to fulfill that obligation. Some parents would ask for some little token to facilitate the marriage. Others would even leave the responsibility to pay it in the hands of the groom. All these adjustments in the practice that take into consideration new circumstances, indicate to the researcher, that bridewealth will continue to exert influence. The researcher sees the flexibility of the practice as a major factor necessary to its survival.
These reflections seemed the most important when reflecting upon the value and relevance of bridewealth. Other reflections could have been drawn that would reflect multidimensionality of the concept of bridewealth.
Conclusions and recommendations
Bridewealth was an important practice in the Luo community. It was a means of strengthening relationships, legalizing marriage and legalizing children. It bound two individuals, their families and even their communities.
The changes taking place in the modern society challenge the practice. It still remains a relevant practice especially to parents whose children want to marry. At the same time its abuse by those who do not understand its cultural relevance but use it as a means to get property causes serious problems for young people.
As a recommendation, the researcher would suggest to make a further inquiry into the modern practice of bridewealth in order to find new ways of fulfilling that still relevant cultural obligation. These new ways would comprise the traditional understanding of bridewealth and take into account difficult life conditions of many young people in Nairobi that create an obstacle or make it even impossible to fulfill it. Such a project would involve parents, who often are attached to traditions and yet living in situations where those traditions are difficult to fulfill, and Church leaders.
The researcher set out to investigate various facades of the practice of bridewealth. Defining it, exploring people involved in it, seeing its advantages and disadvantages and the challenges it faces in the modern society, was a very fruitful endeavor. The researcher learnt a lot about the practice and its impact on people’s lives. It allowed him to understand better an important element of African culture and how it affects daily lives of modern Nairobi residents from the Luo community.
The complexity and importance of bridewealth and its practical relevance to the daily life in the contemporary society influenced the researcher’s desire to undertake a more deep study of this topic for his MA dissertation.
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Field Research Notes
Interview 1.
17.01.09. Dandora. About marriage. 2 couples were interviewed: a Kisii couple and a Taita couple. The Kisii couple was married for 1 year, the Taita couple for 17. Marriage was defined as a ‘union of two people becoming one’, ‘two people joining to become one to start a new family’. The reasons for marriage: to help each other, because God said so, that people should be two, to develop one another, for procreation, for companionship, to satisfy biological needs, it helps in daily life in distributing work, because there is a time when people should get married, because of love. Marriage is supposed to last who life, till death.
The same Kisii couple was interviewed concerning bridewealth. The man was 32 years old and his wife was 24. They were married for a year. They defined bridewealth as money or a token of some kind as agreed upon that is given in exchange for the bride. It was given to strengthen the relationship between the two families. It was seen a measure of commitment of the groom to the bride, whether ‘groom is serious’ about his marriage. The amount paid depended upon the education of the girl, whether she was a virgin, a good person, the financial status of the groom and the negotiating ability of his team that took part in bridewealth negotiations. They believed that the practice of bridewealth may not continue in the near future because of the prevailing economic condition and the practice of ‘come and stay’ that was popular.
A 49 year old Taita man was interviewed concerning bridewealth. He defined it as a ‘token given to the parents of the girl for migrating from her family to start another one’. He saw it also in terms of money generating approach which meant that a girl was, as if, sold to the other family. In his case, paying bridewealth was an obstacle but it was ‘a must’. He believes that the practice should be maintained though in a more moderate form that would prevent some a possible exploitation of young men. He believes that such a practice should not happen among Christians.
Interview 2.
24.01.09. River Estate. 4 people were interviewed: One Kikuyu lady, one Luo lady and 2 Luo men. The Kikuyu lady contributed very little to the discussion and when she did, her views coincided with the views of the Luo respondents. Describing courtship they said that it started with a boy like a girl. He asked her out again. After some time the boy introduced the lady to his family and then, she did to her family. When they decided to marry, the elders got involved and the parents of both met. After that preparations started to be made in the Church. They were not supposed to have sex before marriage. Traditionally interactions between those to be married were limited – it was supposed to prevent an opportunity to have sex. Kissing was not practiced – it could lead to sex. Interaction was also discouraged with the future mother in law. Once the first installment of bridewealth was completed, traditional marriage ceremony could be performed. Sex before marriage among the Luo was also discouraged because it could result in pregnancy and an unmarried lady with a child would be taken usually as a second wife only or married by an old man.
Bridewealth was defined as a ‘payment in exchange to take the girl’, ‘a gift that one has to give to bring families together’. It helped to create friendship, to give thanks to the parents of the bride, a way of appreciation, but also an obligation. Bridewealth is still very much practiced, though the form of payment changed, at least in some instances, from animals, honey, local brew to case. Even now, some animal is to be given as a part of dowry. The respondents supported strongly the idea of maintaining the practice of bridewealth because to ‘eliminate it would be a sign of irresponsibility’ – bridewealth being a practical expression of the bridegroom’s ability to take care of the family.
Interview 3.
31.01.09. Dandora. A 31 year old Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as a gift given to the parents of the girl to show them respect on the part of the boy and his family. Acceptance of bridewealth on the part of the parents of the girl means that they agree that she can be taken. The interviewee mentioned also that bridewealth is a sign that after marriage both boy and girl will live well, without creating problems. The amount of bridewealth depends upon the level of education of the girl and her character.
Interview 4.
31.01.09. Dandora. 2 Luo men were interviewed: one was 43 years old, the other was 54 years old. They defined bridewealth in terms of a gift that the bridegroom gives to the parents of the bride, a payment that the bridegroom makes when he wants to marry a girl, a way of showing respect for the parents of the girl by providing them with money that they had spent on their daughter. Even though money is a preferred way of paying it, some animals have to be provided as a part of the bridewealth. Those animals serve as a proof that the marriage was contracted and a means of increasing the wealth of the family of the bride. If the father of the bride asks for bridewealth and he himself had not paid it, he would die. All three acknowledged that the payment of bridewealth was an obstacle in their marriage. In spite of that, all would like to keep that practice –one of the reasons provided was that it was a custom and it could not be left out.
Interview 5.
05.02.09. Langata, a 31 year old Luia man, cohabiting, was interviewed. He defined bridewealth as a ‘process whereby the family/clan of the husband gives the gifts to the family of the bride as a sign of appreciation’. When the researcher challenged him whether it was a gift and as such could not be given, he also said that it was an obligation and one was expected to do it. It was a necessary condition of marriage. One had to pay bridewealth for marriage to be recognized and to take place. He provided reasons for paying bridewealth such as: the groom appreciates his bride/wife, their marriage is recognized, children have legitimacy by becoming members of the father’s clan, one learns more about the other family. Traditionally cows were used to pay for bridewealth. They were seen as a sign of life, as an evidence that is has been paid. When a couple had a boy, then during his initiation that boy would go to his grandfather who had received bridewealth and the grandfather was expected to give that boy a cow. The interviewee believed that the practice of bridewealth will continue because of the importance of the psychological aspect: if you do not pay it, you are not blessed by the parents of the bride; because it unites the families and legitimized the couple and their children.
Interview 6.
06.02.09. Hardy. A 25 year old Kisii married lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as ‘money paid to your parents when you are taken away from home to your marital home’. It was meant to compensate her parents for taking care of the daughter from childhood to adulthood. It was also a sign of appreciation for giving their daughter in marriage. In her case, their parents did not ask for any bridewealth, but the family of the groom decided to give them some amount of money. They felt that ‘it was not right not to give anything’. She said that there was no advantages of the practice of bridewealth. Its disadvantages were: it makes man feel as if he bought the girl, a way of rating the value of the girl, it cuts off the lady from her family – she belongs then to the clan of the groom. She believes that the practice will not continue due to intermarriage between communities. According to her, the intermarriage dilutes traditional practices and people ‘step out of traditional ways because it doesn’t serve the purpose’.
Interview 7.
14.02.09. Dandora. A 50 year old Kisii, married woman was interviewed. The interview was in Swahili. She defined bridewealth as ‘payment on the side of the man to the side of the lady to bring about relationship’. It was a proof that the girl was married into a new family and became a part of that new family. The amount of bridewealth varied depending upon the wealth of the groom’s family, the education of the bride, upon the amount asked by the parents of the bride and the ability of those involved in the negotiations. Traditionally, bridewealth was paid by using cows and goats because people had no money. These days, people still use cows and goats but also money. According to her, it is not necessary to provide an animal that would have to accompany bridewealth paid in cash.
She claimed that it is the family of the bride that would go to the family of the groom to negotiate the amount of bridewealth. If the groom himself cannot afford to pay bridewealth, his parents, family and friends would contribute. Also the bridewealth received for his sister could be used.
Among advantages of the custom she enumerated:
· It was an official recognition of the marriage; official recognition of the status of the bride as a wife and of the children;
· If the wife died before the bridewealth was paid, the husband would have to pay it before he could be allowed to marry her – paying bridewealth was a way of avoiding future issues;
· It gave the wife respect – she was seen as a wife of so and so;
· It was also a sign that the lady was no more available for marriage to somebody else.
Disadvantages of bridewealth:
· If bridewealth was not paid, it would usually cause some problems;
· The recognition of the union depended upon groom’s capacity to pay it;
· It could result in treating the wife as one’s property – bridewealth paid was used as an explanation to mistreat the wife.
Interview 8.
24.02.09, Tangaza. A Luo lady who was married for 5 years was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as ‘a gift, a token the man’s side offered communally to the woman’ side’. It could take various forms: money, animals and other gifts like mats, fish, baskets (depending upon the community the man was coming from – if they were living by the lake, they would bring fish…).
Bridewealth was given because it opens the door to two families to know each other. It affirms the marriage – it was like a ‘traditional certificate’ of marriage. Bridewealth cements marriage and it gives right to ownership, inheritance and other claims such as a place of burial of the woman and of children.
The amount paid depended upon the agreement between the two families, economic situation of the man and how much both families were attached to their local traditions. The ‘consent money’ would be given to the members of the family, especially the mother, who would get the biggest part of it, and after it, the young could live together. It would be given in envelopes. When the bridewealth was given, most of it would go to the father.
Among the Luo, bridewealth was not so important and high as among other communities. It was not meant to be ‘temporary issue’ – it was an ‘everlasting indebtness’ whereby the man was to contribute on various occasions.
Community contributed to bridewealth by giving some money or animals. One animal had to come from the father of the groom. Once given to the father of the bride through his spokesperson, he could use it in a variety of ways, one of them being to pay for the bridewealth of his sons.
Advantages of the practice:
· It raises the status of the lady’s family and the man’s family in terms of ownership;
· It could be of help to less privileged members of groom’s family;
· It could be used to pay for the bridewealth of the sons;
· It served as a confirmation of marriage
· It uplifted the economic status by enabling them to acquire more property.
Disadvantages of the practice:
· Once bridewealth was exchanged, marriage was official and was not be broken. It affected especially the wife and the children who lived with an abusive husband and father. In case of divorce, the bridewealth was to be returned, and often it was already used by the family of the wife – practice of bridewealth effectively encouraged the wife to stay in that relationship;
· A lot could be asked as bridewealth. As a result, the young could elope or the future husband would have to take loans to be able to pay for bridewealth. As a result, the new family would start their marital life with some debts that would not be helpful.
Interview 9.
26.02.09. A 35 year old Luo lady who was married for 10 years was interviewed. Bridewealth (“nyombo” in Luo) was defined by her as “a token given to the parents of the wife as a sign of respect, a sign of reward for bringing up the girl”. Before it was paid in cows, bulls and goats. Today money is the preferential mode of paying it, with some cows that are also supposed to be given. The animal/s given to the parents, on the top of money, help the parents to remember their daughter and are a source of wealth, because these cows are supposed to multiply.
Consent money (“ayie”) was given to the mother and other family members involved in the marriage negotiations. Once it was given, it signified the permission of the parents of the girl to start living with the boy.
In her case, the payment of bridewealth remains an obstacle in formalizing their marriage – because it was not paid yet, they have no Church wedding.
Advantages of the practice:
· It was a source of wealth to the family of the bride; having daughters meant an increase in wealth;
· Cows given in bridewealth could be used in family celebrations, e.g. it could be slaughtered for burial;
· If bridewealth was not spent, it provided an opportunity for the girl to come back to her parental home. Then, bridewealth was to be returned to the family of the groom. However, if there were children born in that marriage, bridewealth was not to be returned;
Disadvantages of the practice:
· If there were problems in the family, and the bridewealth was spent, it, somehow, forced the wife to continue staying in an abuse relationship;
· If bridewealth was given in livestock, if there was a disease, it could be easily lost;
· In case of the death of the wife before bridewealth was completed, it could create tension between the husband and late wife’s family concerning the place of burial;
· The institution of bridewealth could be used as a means of abusing and disrespecting the bride.
The respondent was firmly convinced that the practice of bridewealth will continue because “Luo don’t want to forfeit their culture. They believe that if they forfeit it an evil thing will happen. According to her, the practice should be perpetuated though it should be made less strict by providing more room for the groom to contribute bridewealth.
Interview 10.
27.03.09, Dandora. A 29 years old married Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as a “traditional thing, a token of thanksgiving for raising up, and educating the girl, a way of saying thank you”. Bridewealth was given in terms of livestock and money. These days money seems to be used a lot more. However, even if money is given, at least one cow is to be given. The father of the groom is supposed to help his son in giving him at least one cow. If he is not able to afford it, he is to get at least a rope which will be used to take that animal to girl’s parents. That rope signifies that cow was given by the father.
The respondent mentioned the following advantages of bridewealth:
· It is seen as a “signature of marriage”;
· It helps the groom and the bride in validating their state of life;
· It is a source of wealth, especially if the parents of the bride are poor and the parents of the groom are rich;
· It promotes a sense of justice: if the father of the bride did not pay bridewealth himself, he cannot ask it from the groom of his daughter;
· It is a source of blessing for everybody: the parents of the girl get some wealth, and the groom and his family get a new member who will bear children and contribute to the growth of their community.
The disadvantages mentioned were:
· It is an obstacle in the Christian wedding because the payment of bridewealth is a pre-condition to marry in the Church;
· Some people ask for a lot of money as a payment of bridewealth;
· It may create the problems for the family of the girl if she wants to terminate the marriage and return home and they have already spent the bridewealth. However if children were born, bridewealth is not to be returned. Hence, bridewealth was contributing to wives staying in some abusive relationships;
· If the parents cannot agree about bridewealth, the young may have to wait till the parents are dead to formalize their relationship.
Interview 11.
26.02.09. A 35 year old Luo lady who was married for 10 years was interviewed. Bridewealth (“nyombo” in Luo) was defined by her as“a token given to the parents of the wife as a sign of respect, a sign of reward for bringing up the girl”. In the past it was paid in cows, bulls and goats. Today money is the preferential mode of paying it, with some cows that are also supposed to be given. The animal/s given to the parents, on the top of money, help the parents to remember their daughter and are a source of wealth, because these cows are supposed to multiply.
Consent money (“ayie”) was given to the mother and other family members involved in the marriage negotiations. Once it was given, it signified the permission of the parents of the girl to start living with the boy.
In her case, the payment of bridewealth remains an obstacle in formalizing their marriage – because it was not paid yet, they have no Church wedding.
Advantages of the practice:
· It was a source of wealth to the family of the bride; having daughters meant an increase in wealth;
· Cows given in bridewealth could be used in family celebrations, e.g. it could be slaughtered for burial;
· If bridewealth was not spent, it provided an opportunity for the girl to come back to her parental home. Then, bridewealth was to be returned to the family of the groom. However, if there were children born in that marriage, bridewealth was not to be returned;
Disadvantages of the practice:
· If there were problems in the family, and the bridewealth was spent, it, somehow, forced the wife to continue staying in an abuse relationship;
· If bridewealth was given in livestock, if there was a disease, it could be easily lost;
· In case of the death of the wife before bridewealth was completed, it could create tension between the husband and late wife’s family concerning the place of burial;
· The institution of bridewealth could be used as a means of abusing and disrespecting the bride.
The respondent was firmly convinced that the practice of bridewealth will continue because “Luo don’t want to forfeit their culture. They believe that if they forfeit it an evil thing will happen. According to her, the practice should be perpetuated though it should be made less strict by providing more room for the groom to contribute bridewealth.
Interview 12.
27.02.09, Dandora. A 29 years old married Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as a “traditional thing, a token of thanksgiving for raising her up, and educating the girl, a way of saying thank you”. Bridewealth was given in terms of livestock and money. These days money seems to be used a lot more. However, even if money is given, at least one cow is to be given. The father of the groom is supposed to help his son in giving him at least one cow. If he is not able to afford it, he is to get at least a rope which will be used to take that animal to girl’s parents. That rope signifies that cow was given by the father.
The respondent mentioned the following advantages of bridewealth:
· It is seen as a “signature of marriage”;
· It helps the groom and the bride in validating their state of life;
· It is a source of wealth, especially if the parents of the bride are poor and the parents of the groom are rich;
· It promotes a sense of justice: if the father of the bride did not pay bridewealth himself, he cannot ask it from the groom of his daughter;
· It is a source of blessing for everybody: the parents of the girl get some wealth, and the groom and his family get a new member who will bear children and contribute to the growth of their community.
The disadvantages mentioned were:
· It is an obstacle in the Christian wedding because the payment of bridewealth is a pre-condition to marry in the Church;
· Some people ask for a lot of money as a payment of bridewealth;
· It may create the problems for the family of the girl if she wants to terminate the marriage and return home and they have already spent the bridewealth. However if children were born, bridewealth is not to be returned. Hence, bridewealth was contributing to wives staying in some abusive relationships;
· If the parents cannot agree about bridewealth, the young may have to wait till the parents are dead to formalize their relationship.
Interview 13
14.03.09, Dandora. A 27 years old Luo lady was interviewed. She defined bridewealth as something “like a present for the parents of the girl”. It was given because the parents of the girls have raised their daughter up. The amount depended upon the parents and their wealth. The obligation of bridewealth “doesn’t have an end-each time you go to visit the parents you contribute something”. These days, money is mostly used to pay bridewealth, though at least one cow is to be given. Animals serve as a way to remember and a proof that marriage has been contracted.
If the groom can pay himself, he can do it. At the same time, his father is to give one cow as a contribution to bridewealth. If he cannot do it, he can provide a rope that is then returned to him signifying that the bridewealth was paid.
The respondent mentioned following advantages of the practice:
· cows and money help the parents in their life;
· the parents can use it for various purposes such as building a house;
· it can be used to pay for school fees and bridewealth for younger siblings.
Among the disadvantages, the following were enumerated:
· “we are not married traditionally because bridewealth was not delivered”;
· The eldest son is to deliver is first, and the eldest daughter is to paid bridewealth for as the first person. Those who are younger, are not supposed to marry before him/her. If the groom cannot pay it, it causes problems in the family.
Modern factors that influence the practice were related to economic conditions that make is more difficult to pay. Because of that, even if the couple lives in a union, they and especially, the groom cannot go to visit the parents of the bride because he would feel ashamed. People bypass the obligation of bridewealth by living together and not paying it. As a result those unions are not as stable as traditional marriages. People may then be involved with more partners and as a result it may contribute to the spread of AIDS.
Interview 14
19.03.09, Otiende. A 45 year old married Luo man was interviewed. He defined bridewealth as a “appreciation of the parents for their work done”. He stressed that “you don’t buy the girl –it was not buying because you cannot value somebody’s life with animals”. If the girl was a virgin, the boy had to pay more bridewealth. These days money is the preferred means of paying it, though at least one animal has to be given. If there is no animal given, usually at least one cow, it is not considered that bridewealth was paid. The obligation of bridewealth is “endless – you are supposed to take the family of the bride as your own family and you continue helping them”.
The respondent stressed that if one did not pay bridewealth for his wife, he could not get it for his daughter. It was a traditional way of disciplining people to pay it.
Advantages of bridewealth were: a sign of appreciation, it makes people responsible by caring for the animals given in bridewealth and those animals could multiply, increase the wealth of the family and/or be slaughtered for various family occasions.
Disadvantages: a father could ask for too much, people having difficulty to raise it and the payment of bridewealth was actually seen as a sign of marriage. If people cannot pay it, it spoils the relationship between them and the parents.
He claimed that the practice is on the way of extinction because of the economic issues making it difficult to collect it among many people.